
There are three different WAV files, each located in a different
ZIP file.  Each WAV is from Saturday Night Live of Lyle: the
Effeminate Heterosexual (played by Dana Carvey).  For those that
forgot or never seen it, most everyone thinks Lyle is gay because he
walks and talks and throws like a girl, even though he is straight.


A WAV player such as the OS/2's MMPM/2 Digital Audio applet can be used
to hear the WAV files.
LYLE1.WAV is about 900KB and lasts for 21 seconds.
LYLE2.WAV is about 570KB and lasts for 13 seconds.
LYLE3.WAV is about 400KB and lasts for 9 seconds.


======== Transcript of LYLE1.WAV ========
[Lyle (Dana Carvey) wants to talk to his son Scott (Mike Meyers) about
girls]

Lyle:	"Now, son, your mother tells me something's bothering you.  What's
	the matter?  Hmmm?  Girl problems?"
Scott:	"Yeah..."
Lyle:	"Would you like to tell me about it?"
Scott:	"Well, you wouldn't understand."
Lyle:	"Tsk!  What do you mean?  C'mon, I'm not *that* old!"
Scott:	"Well, it's not that... it's just... I don't know, I mean...
	aren't you gay?"
Lyle:	"What?!!"

======== Transcript of LYLE2.WAV ========
[Lyle repremands his son]

Lyle:	"Gay?  I am your *father*, d*mn it!"
Scott:	"Well, a lot of gay men have families, dad.  It's nothing to be
	ashamed of."
Lyle:	"Oh!  Oh!  You get upstairs!  You get upstairs!  You are grounded.
	You stay there until you figure out that I am *not* gay!"

======== Transcript of LYLE3.WAV ========
[After Lyle's girlfriend (Han Hooks) tells Lyle's wife (host Chris Evert)
about their affair, Lyle's wife does not believe her]

wife:	"I don't believe you.  My husband would never have an affair."
Lyle:	"That's right, honey."
wife:	"It's impossible... he's gay."
Lyle:	"What?!!"




Mike Levis
mlevis@ringer.cs.utsa.edu
Apr 25 '94

